Haiku Plowmen

The server's down, but the internet's up so just for fun I ran the Hawaiian alphabet through the Internet Anagram Server. I discovered the entire Hawaiian alphabet is contained in the phrase 'haiku plowmen.' That inspired a haiku:

All letters of the 

Hawaiian alphabet are

In ‘Haiku Plowmen’

Then I got to thinking about what haiku plowmen might actually be and decided that they are simply crafters of haiku. Another haiku:

Turning words like earth

Trimming lines like a bonzai
We haiku plowmen

My Wedding in Haiku

Big day here at last

It will be one of a kind

Just look at Dave's shoes

Posing for photos

I'm sure there are some shots of 

Jen's shoes stuck in mud

Friends and family

Gather on the patio

Jen is beautiful

Reading off my phone

Everyone is watching me

Crying tears of joy

Jeez, it's hot out here

I mean really freakin' hot

Let's just go inside

Make room for more plates

Can't they just clear the table?

So many flowers

Pianist unplugs

Feedback shocks the restaurant

Guitarist cries foul

Rowdy kid's table

My mother needs a napkin

Sofia's sleeping

So many courses

There's just so much food to eat

Could I get a box?

Lovely wedding cake

Everyone likes the topper

Bow doesn't make it

Brother gives a toast

His true feelings are revealed

I'm Buddy the Elf

More than anything

I will always remember

Those two guys in kilts

For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.

I like to think Hemingway's famous six word story is about a little girl who likes to be barefoot all the time and outgrows her shoes before she gets to use them.

Update #1: Hemingway probably didn't write that story.

Update #2: I got selected for the One Sentence blog

It was a beautiful day.

I woke up around 8:00. I did the morning thing... showered, shaved, got dressed. It was a beautiful day so I decided to walk along the bus route to the subway. I figured if the bus didn't come while I was waiting at least I had a nice walk. It never came.

When I got to the subway I sat on the platform and read while I waited about 10 minutes for the train. I can't remember what I was reading, but it was probably something I'd read before. Maybe a comic book.

The train came and I walked to the end of the platform so I would be right near the exit when it got to my stop. I got on at 63rd Street so there were plenty of seats, but I always liked to stand when I rode the train. I would stand without leaning against the door and slowly rock back and forth to keep my balance as the train moved.

It was an uneventful train ride. I got off at 5th Street and walked up to the street. It was a really beautiful day. The sun was shining, but not the way that makes you squint at everything. I went to the newsstand to get my usual "breakfast" - a Snapple and a soft pretzel.

I walked through Independance Mall to get to work. I'd walk past tourists taking pictures, posing in front of Independance Hall. I always used to wonder how many vacation photos I must be in. Photo bombing wasn't a thing back then, but if it was I would have been awesome at it.

I got to my desk a little after 10:00. When I got settled in I logged onto AIM. Back then there was nothing to stop you from chatting with your friends at work. No reason, really. My friend, Craig, popped up.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Not good, not good."

"Why, what's happening?"

"The second tower just collapsed."

"What are you talking about?"

They closed the office and sent everyone home an hour later because we were next to Independance Hall and the Liberty Bell. Who knew what could happen next? On the way home I remembered the guy at the newsstand was talking to someone about a plane crash. He was real casual about it, like it was a tragic accident or something. Nobody knew. Why would they? It was such a beautiful day.

Be a werewolf (don't be a vampire)

Back in high school a friend and I changed the words to the Dr. Pepper jingle to be all about werewolves. An American Werewolf in London had just come out starring David Naughton who was the Dr. Pepper Spokesman. For some reason it's been stuck in my head all morning. It went like this:

I've turned into a werewolf don't you know.
There's really no where safe you can go,
'Cause if you look around these days
There seems to be a lycanthropic craze!*

I'm a werewolf! He's a werewolf. She's a werewolf!
If you've been bitten maybe your a werewolf, too!
Be a werewolf (don't be a vampire)
Be a werewolf (don't be a vampire)

See, even back in the '80s vampires were lame.

*American Werewolf, The Howling and Wolfen all came out in 1981.